This post has been formulating for many months and I will apologize for the sad undertone because I usually choose to ignore sad things in my life. Matt calls it "living in Tiffany Land". If there is something I don't like or makes me sad, I choose to completely disregard it. The best example I have of this is when a couple of our good friends had to serve our country in Iraq. I couldn't deal with the weight of the worry and so unless we talked with them or their spouses I chose to believe they were home, warm and snuggly with their loved ones. "Tiffany Land" helps me cope, it is what it is. Okay on with it -
Several things have been rough at the Eaves' household lately. And I want to make sure you understand that I know how blessed I am and don't want to sound ungreatful with this post.
1. Matt's Job: I'm sorry, I'm biting my tongue a bit on this topic because some of my readers are involved in the Y. The short version- they got a new CEO last spring and have been going through a restructuring process since then. They made everyone reapply and interview for their jobs. This process took much too long and was handled very poorly. The last month has been a whole ball of unpleasantness at our household dealing with all of this. Yesterday was the decision day and time has never passed more slowly through the day. Nothing, NOTHING, could have prepared me for what happened or how it happened. Even my worst case scenario was better than what actually happened. Bottom line - very few of the Center Directors kept their jobs, and several were terminated. Matt, has a job. How?, we have no idea. All of those terminated were doing their jobs well. All of them have done everything asked of them in their careers with the Y, some have dedicated decades of their life to the Y, which is more than an eternity in the Y. They have given up too much precious time with their families to be at their centers for events, answer phone calls on holidays, and sit with upset members/staff at all hours of the day and night. And they don't deserve this. We sat last night, crying, with some of our favorite people, brainstorming how to pick up the pieces, as they all look for new jobs. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.
2. Fertility - this will be short winded because it is too hard to think about and type (remember "Tiffany Land")
It seems like as soon as your married everyone asks, "When are you having kids?" and then as soon as you give birth people ask, "When is number 2"" Well, I think it was no secret that it took us quite a while to have Madelyn. And when Matt looked at me and said he was ready for another one whenever I was, I still shocked because I wasn't ready. So we waited. Fastforward- we've been trying for well over a year and obviously no results. I went to my doctor several months ago and after blood work found that I have thyroid disease. Fabulous. It runs in my family so I already knew a little about it. Turns out, your thryroid effects everything! Take a magic pill and everything will be fine, right? Well, doc said if I'm not preggo in three months, give her a call. Guess, I'll be giving her a call.
3. Jealousy
Why is it that when you are trying to get pregnant, everyone, I mean, everyone around is pregnant. For the most part I can totally be happy for them and for those ladies I work with and great friends I adore that are preggo, I am over the moon thrilled for them. But, I had this tiny little problem early this year. I had a student teacher in my classroom earlier this year, she got married this August, and found out she was pregnant about 4 weeks later. Great. I can put on a good face and act happy about it . After all, she didn't know me or my situation. But it was hard, I never expected to be sitting EVERYDAY within a few feet of someone that was a constant reminder of what I wanted. To me "type A" personality - you do things in a certain order, education, married and career simultaneous, and then babies. So it frustrated me that she wasn't finished with schooling, just got married, and wound up preggo when I know so many people that agonized through inferitility treatments. And to make it worse, she didn't have medical insurance, had a suspended drivers license, had no income because her hubby didn't have a job,and wasn't getting medical attention when she needed it. Then there was the whole issue of her teaching, she wasn't making any progress because of severe morning sickness. How does this end? She eventually quit around Halloween because she couldn't keep up with her coursework or the increasing responsibilities she was suppose to be taking on in my classroom. I've made peace with the whole situation now, but it has been a rocky road.
Now I'm done ranting, I feel better. Like a weight lifted. I'm looking forward to the holidays with great family and friends. And hopefully less heartache.
